I want to help others like me. And they might feel the same way about me. But often, we aren’t much good to each other because the very conditions we want to aid each other with are making us unable to function.
I could do so much more for my fellow people with condition X if…well, if I didn’t have X. That’s the paradox.
A loved one of mine is going through a strong version of this. They’ve recently come to a greater understanding of the issues they have and developed a passionate desire to help and advocate for others. They have some great ideas and plans for exactly how they want to do that…and right now they’re dealing with meds trials that have them alternating between a spiraling, incoherent mess and a paperweight. Their plans must wait.
When things aren’t that extreme, there are some things we can do. We can seek out help with mundane tasks so we can spend our limited energy on the tasks only we are able to perform. But sometimes we don’t have any choice but to accept that our quantity of service will be a small percentage of the amount a neurotypical/abled person could deliver.
And we’d better accept it, because if we don’t, the people we care about won’t even get that.
Lori Lynne Armstrong 